


hands to hold

by dinglesugdendinglesugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, fluff for no reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 14:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinglesugdendinglesugden/pseuds/dinglesugdendinglesugden
Summary: robert and aaron like to hold hands.or, a five times (plus one) fic that nobody asked for, but get anyway





	hands to hold

Fingers brushed against each other, fingertips frozen in the cold of the night, summer well and truly over. The rain had poured all day, the fresh smell of grass and dew in the atmosphere, the air cool and refreshing, even though nobody wanted the good weather to end. Robert looked down at their hands, walking side by side, knuckles touching and Robert pulled away in shock. He wanted to, of course he did, but Aaron had to be the first to make that move.

**one.**

It had started during the affair, the hand holding. Neither of them knew why or how, but Robert does remember one time, when they had settled down for the night, pizza boxes on the bedside table, both of them full and naked. Robert’s fingers had trailed up Aaron’s back, both of them facing each other with tired smiles on their faces, Aaron’s eyes closing in pleasure as Robert’s nails softly scratched his skin. His hands came around to the front of Aaron’s body, rubbing at his shoulder, and then his chest, and then Aaron’s hand met Robert’s and somehow intertwined. Just like they were made for each other.

“Go to sleep.” Aaron whispered, voice low even though it didn’t need to be.

Nobody was there. It was just them, and for the first time, they didn’t have to act like it was an affair. They didn’t have to hide how they felt.

Robert leaned forward and took Aaron’s lips between his own, gently, softly. No heat or immense passion laced in the touch, but just pure and utter satisfaction at how they got to share this moment, even if it was only temporary.

Aaron twisted and turned so his back was pressed to Robert’s chest, but their entwined hands remained just that- entwined. The bed may have been king size, but with the way they were cuddled together it may as well have been a single. Their hands rested on Aaron’s chest, Robert’s thumb running over Aaron’s knuckles, soothing him to sleep.

**two.**

It had become a comfort thing, something that helped Aaron. He was struggling really, under all the bravado he put on. Every single day was just so draining for him, the mental countdown in his head ticking away until the day he had to stand in front of his family and people he’d never met before and tell them what that monster did to him.

Robert sat down next to him, on the last day of the trial. Their thighs touched and Robert was certain he heard Aaron breathe a sigh of relief at the simple touch- just reminding Aaron that he is there for him, regardless of what happens. The touch meant that Robert could feel every move that Aaron made. As more and more time passed, he got more anxious and his knee started to jerk up and down, constantly rubbing against Robert’s thigh and he knew that Aaron needed calming down.

He leaned into him, whispered that “everything will be okay”, and Aaron just looked at him and smiled, but Robert knew it wasn’t a real smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, not like it should. He just looked numb, and Robert wished he could take all the hurt and pain away from him.

Aaron looked down at Robert’s hand, which was splayed on his thigh, and then back up at his face. Robert knew exactly what that look meant, _he understood Aaron_ , and so he turned his hand around, so his palm was facing upright, and waited for Aaron to make the first move in linking their hands together.

And he did. So they sat there, listening as the judge and the jury spoke, reading out the multiple guilty verdicts, hand in hand.

**three.**

Robert’s hands, and more importantly, holding them, became something he missed when he went to prison. Aaron spent hours remembering how Robert’s fingers felt between his own, cold fingertips meeting warm, the tingling sensation that flooded his body whenever they got to share that simplistic tender moment. He missed it so much, and that was only made worse by the fact he got to see Robert, but only across a table. They couldn’t touch, not like everyone else was able to and all Aaron yearned for was to be able to hold Robert’s hand again.

They’d held hands the night before Aaron was taken to prison, words not spoken because they didn’t need to. Both of them admired the silver band on their left hands, because even though they hadn’t changed from the moment they were first put on, back in October, they had a deeper meaning now.

They were _married._

Robert lifted their entwined hands to his mouth and kissed Aaron’s knuckles softly. In another world, Aaron would’ve snorted out a laugh and probably called him soft, but in that moment is was perfect and nobody would ever know about it.

With Aaron in prison though, they would have to make do with pinkie fingers brushing against one another, playing it off as though they were both straight.

**four.**

Alex didn’t hold Aaron’s hand like Robert did. Robert always waited, waited to see if it was okay, and then Aaron would entwine their fingers together. Alex didn’t do that. He never checked to see if it was okay, it just went unspoken, and then he would press their hands together.

His hands weren’t warm like Robert’s. That was the first thing he noticed. The slightest breeze and they would run cold. Aaron didn’t like the feel of cold hands touching his cold hands. He preferred Robert’s, and the way they would constantly warm him up, inside and out.

Aaron wondered if Robert felt this way. Like, if he did something and suddenly remembered when he did it with Aaron, or if he missed the simple things they had in their relationship. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but they had each other and that meant a lot.

He looked at his left hand when he was alone, seeing his knuckled red and the pads of his fingertips all cracked and dry with constantly tearing metal apart up at the scrapyard. But most of all, he looked at his fourth finger, right where it met his knuckle and imagined his wedding band being placed there again. He would probably never admit it out loud, but he missed wearing it. In his opinion, he doesn’t look complete without that piece of jewellery anymore.

Sighing, he ran his thumb over the place where the metal once was and closed his eyes, thinking of all the times Robert would lay in bed with him, his thumb running over it, lifting it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to it.

**five.**

The February air was bitterly cold, the harsh wind battering against the pair of them as they stood outside, completely content in each other’s company, Robert in awe of Aaron’s romantic speech, even though, when he started it, he had no idea where he was going with it.

Robert had told him just how much he loves Aaron, so full of emotion as they kissed for the first time in almost a year, but felt so much longer. They breathed each other in as they shared a hug, the first in a long time and the first of many, because this time it was real and it was for keeps.

Their hands fell down at the same time, skin brushing against each other, and without even thinking about it, their hands tangled together once more, both of them holding on tightly, not willing to let go as they walked through the dark village, everyone asleep apart from the two of them.

“Welcome home.” Aaron whispered when they reached the door, trying to be as quiet as possible because Liv was upstairs and as much as he loved her, he didn’t really want to stay up half the night explaining where Alex was and why Robert was holding his hand.

And Robert didn’t realise it, because it was so natural to him, but Aaron’s thumb ran over the place where his wedding ring should be, and in the morning, it would be again.

**\+ one**

Aaron felt Robert’s knuckles against his, bones knocking together as they stepped in time with one another. He smirked, and let his fingers fall into the space between Robert’s thumb and the rest of his fingers, and Robert’s hold instantly tightened, fingers entwining together, arms swinging between the two of them. Robert looked at Aaron and smiled, leaning to the side to kiss him quickly, even though nobody would see them in the dark.

 _Home._ Some people think that home is just a house, a building. But to Robert and Aaron, home each other. It’s coming back to their house at the end of a long and exhausting day, and being able to revel in each other’s company, doing nothing but being together. It’s in the way they share knowing looks and smiles and inside jokes with each other. It’s in the way that Aaron sometimes laughs a little too hard and falls into Robert’s chest; in the way Robert likes to hug Aaron constantly. And it’d definitely in the way they hold hands, unafraid of what the world thinks.


End file.
